The Last Thing

What will be the last thing I see?

Will it be flowers, fluffy clouds in the sky

Or bare hospital walls, the ceiling at home

Or maybe your face and your eyes looking back

I hope it is you.

What will be the last thing I hear?

Will it be birds. the gentle splatter of rain

Or a siren and car horns as we rush down the road

Or maybe your voice, calling my name

I hope it is you.

What will be the last thing I taste?

Will it be ice cream, frosty and sweet, warm, buttery lobster

Or the dry taste of a pill, the bitter taste of medicine

Or a gentle kiss and the touch of your lips

I hope it is you.

What will be the last thing I touch?

Will it be the soft coat of my dog, his cold moist nose

Or the dull starch of hospital sheets, the empty bed around me

Or will it be your fingers, or your lips or hair

I hope it is you.

What will be the last thing I feel?

Will it be the warmth of a hug, the touch of a hand holding mine

Or will it be pain from a crash, a scalpel cutting to save

Or will I feel your love… and love you back

Yes, I hope it will be you.

Star Lessons

The church I go to has a tradition of letting everyone pick a random star at the beginning of each year. These paper stars have just one word on each, words like Peace or Teaching or Harmony or Hospitality. The idea is that you reflect on your word throughout the year and at a service the following year some people will present what they learned to the congregation.

I always over think things. I want to make sure. So when I got my star last year I tried to find a literal lesson from it. The star said:

con·sid·er·a·tion

So there are two main ways to define consideration:

careful thought, typically over a period of time, and

a payment or reward.

But, consideration is also kindness and thoughtful regard for others, or an act of thoughtfulness. Treating others as you would have them treat you (the Golden Rule) is one example of consideration.

The verb consider comes from the Latin for “contemplate,” and hidden in the word is sid, the Latin root for “star.”

Originally it meant to examine something very thoroughly, or carefully, as if you were staring at the night sky, contemplating its mystery.

If you give something consideration, you think about it carefully, and not too quickly. When you’re making a tough decision, you need to give consideration to all possible outcomes before making up your mind.

So, consideration is the process of giving careful thought to something, or a fee paid or charged in advance for something, or a kind act, including being careful not to cause inconvenience or hurt to others.

But how do I use this star to learn or act during the year?

There are many opportunities to show consideration, some the result of acts by others and some the result of my own acts. And I found myself contemplating these situations, often reflecting on past actions or ways to influence future actions.

The easiest example is perhaps one that most of you can identify with – driving. Needless to say, there is only one perfect driver in the world and it is each of us. Consideration enters in when someone else does something egregious – cutting in or cutting you off or passing on the right with a line of stopped traffic. I mean, GEE, the nerve of these people.
Then, suddenly I find myself in situations where I do the same thing. Of course there is a VERY GOOD reason why I did it, but did everyone else know that? So when someone else does it again, do I get angry and perhaps say things not appropriate to repeat in church, or do I consider that they too may have a very good reason and show consideration?

Sometimes, when I am out shopping there are similar situations. Rushing down the aisles as I load my shopping cart, I round a corner a bit too fast and am confronted by someone who is not in quite the same hurry as I am. “Excuse Me!” usually gets them to move out of the way, but is that them showing consideration for my inconsiderate behavior?

And there is always the option of holding a door for someone or just rushing in or out and getting things done so I can get home to sit on the couch and RELAX.

My late wife loved the song Humble and Kind by Tim McGraw. I’d like to share some of the lyrics:

Go to church ’cause your momma says to
Visit grandpa every chance that you can
It won’t be a waste of time
Always stay humble and kind

Hold the door say please say thank you
Don’t steal, don’t cheat, and don’t lie
I know you got mountains to climb but
Always stay humble and kind

Don’t expect a free ride from no one
Don’t hold a grudge or a chip and here’s why
Bitterness keeps you from flying
Always stay humble and kind

When those dreams you’re dreamin’ come to you
When the work you put in is realized
Let yourself feel the pride but
Always stay humble and kind

Don’t take for granted the love this life gives you
When you get where you’re goin’
Don’t forget turn back around
Help the next one in line
Always stay humble and kind

This really sums up Consideration in many simple ways.

I heard a story recently about the Jolly Elf that we all hear about every December as representing the act of giving without any expectation of receiving back. That is certainly considerate, but it highlights what I came to feel was the most important part of my star lesson. Showing consideration as a means of enhancing my own value in the eyes of others was not really consideration, or perhaps this was just an example of its meaning about a fee or payment for a service.

But when you can show consideration to someone else without them knowing you are doing it, that is the best. That car that is in such a hurry, just let them in. When someone is in your way at the store, be patient. When someone needs some help, just help them. We all see people begging for money, often standing in the cold for hours. Understand they are not doing it because they like to. They are just not a fortunate as you and I, so show them some consideration, say Hello and help them if you can.

We all have moments when we are inconsiderate and we all receive those inconsiderate actions from others, but we can learn from our actions to be better and can show consideration to others when they need it most.

I hope I can be more considerate in the new year, and beyond. I know I will continue to recognize the opportunities I am given to show consideration.

Acceptance, A Poem

Acceptance

There is a word for understanding

That although you don’t have all

That you want,

You have enough.

There is a word for understanding

That people and families grow

And change at different speeds

But still love each other.

There is a word for understanding

That sometimes people leave you

Before you are ready

Even though they don’t want to.

There is a word for understanding

That there is just one moment

When we are free to live

And love and enjoy and share.

There is a moment when everything

That is important becomes real,

And once you accept that moment

It is yours forever.

Acceptance is not just one moment,

It includes all the moments before and after

And becomes the life we live

And share with others.

How Do We Get Better?

How do we get better?

We are always under pressure to get better but when faced with this question, most of us become introspective.  We look at ourselves and try to find the little things we can improve immediately to be better.  This is good and does provide some small incremental efficiencies, but we need to look at the question differently so that it can have a greater impact.

How do WE get better?

Individual and incremental improvements will always be worthwhile, but to really generate recognizable change requires that we refocus on two key parameters – scope and time, or who and when.

The who part of this requires that we look at our co-workers and well as our partners and customers.  Internally, we need to consider what do we need from our co-workers and associates and what do they need from each of us?  Consider an eight person crew team in their shell on a river, if one person starts to row harder it will actually slow the boat down since the team will not be in sync.  At the same time, if all eight rowers are moving in perfect harmony, an easy stroke will quickly outpace that other boat.

The same is true for our company.  We need to be a team and we all need to perform in harmony.  As individuals, we need to think of the bigger picture in terms of what we need from others and what we must provide to others in order to perform better.  Then, our managers must all realize that they are key to coordinating between teams.

Imagine an orchestra that was told to play Beethoven’s 5^th Symphony without a conductor on the podium.  Some instruments would start playing first and others would join and eventually it would sound like a somewhat choppy version of what Beethoven wrote.  But with the conductor in place to lead, they play a masterpiece.  That is the role of the leaders throughout our organization.

So, what about our partners and customers?

Consider that we can certainly ask them what they want and work internally to deliver that solution, but then we will always be stuck in today and reacting to immediate needs.  We need to unleash our experience and expertise to lead our partners and customers into tomorrow, rather than just satisfying immediate needs.

I once learned from a customer that the relationship between a customer and a vendor has three levels.  He said:

1. If you do everything you say you will do, I won’t sue you.
2. If you improve my systems and products, I will renew your contract.
3. If you help me expand and gain new business, I will refer you to other companies.

By contract we have to do everything we say we will do, but our real goal is #3.  And that means we need to not just do what we say we will or what they ask for, rather we need to utilize our collective creative skills, experience and expertise to do something really new and different.

This brings us to the other element of what it takes to be better – Time.  It is very easy to get lost in the immediate, day to day trivia and issues, so that we suddenly find ourselves behind and struggling to keep up.  This makes us always focus on today and we never have time to look into the future to find that illusive “new and different” something that will make a true change for ourselves, our partners and our customers.  Solving the daily issues never goes away, but we all still need to stop every once in a while and step back to look at where we are today and consider where we want to be in five years.

Everything will be very different in five years.  It sounds like a long time out, but the reality is that change is happening so fast that it is nearly impossible to keep up.  The only hope is to get ahead of it and become part of those who will create the future, rather than the ones who will react to it.  Look at your partners and customers and, knowing where they are today, think (or dream) about what their world will look like five years out.  Who will their competitors be, what new technologies will disrupt what they do today.  Share your thoughts with others and be prepared to take some risks in defining something that does not exist yet.  Thinking about today is already old.  We all need to picture what the world will look like in the future and start building it now.

Then we will truly by BETTER.

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